Sam McPheeters

Sam McPheeters spoke to me in the alley behind the Smell while he was waiting to see his 47th Thrones show. Sam definitely did not give me a dirty, folded up napkin with a secret message written on it. He certainly didn’t tell me to read it only upon returning home to transcribe the many tapes of our hours’ long interview, during which we mostly talked about the economy and how even a mailroom job requires an interview. If, however, he had written a secret message on a napkin and handed it to me at the end of this interview, that message would have been “Salt.” —Drew DennyMy current art show is called ‘Unleash The Walrus,’ and it displays at the Hope Gallery in Echo Park through October 5. 45 drawings, 2 giclee prints, assorted screenprints and oversized xeroxes. I’ve never done a solo show before, and I don’t know how it works when the show is over. My assumption is that it’s like the produce section of a major supermarket in that everything unsold gets tossed. So if your readers are looking for free art, they should check the dumpsters behind Hope Gallery on October 6.When did you start drawing?June 9, 1975. I was in first grade and I drew a peacock punching a pregnant Eskimo in the neck. I haven’t looked back since.What’s it like to watch people look at your work?Creepy. Stalker-style. Or whatever the word is for reverse-creepy-stalker-style. It’s like a bunch of people are reading my diary in six-to-eight minute increments. But then they smile and I see that little dollar symbol flash in their eyes and everything is OK again.What are your favorite projects? Album covers? Zines?In 2003, I designed a 7″ cover for a split EP by The Locust and Melt Banana. I thought it turned out well. Later that year, Melt Banana played the Silverlake Lounge. After their set, I approached their singer, Yasuko, to introduce myself. But when I stuck my hand out she gave me this weird sort of sneer that, for some reason, did not seem entirely inappropriate. Pretty much all my design experiences have involved someone sneering at me at some point or another. Zines are a little different. Almost every other fanzine I’ve ever done has gotten me in trouble, usually for bad record reviews or gratuitous personal jibes. My new zine Clog is all fiction and short humor pieces that I am hoping no one will get steamed up about. But it’s hard to tell what crazies get offended over.How would you compare your experience showing art to your experiences performing as a musician? Less sweaty? More refined?Playing in a band is nice when you see your family at Christmas and you can casually mention that you’ve just returned from a five-week tour to someplace exciting. But that’s about it. When I was in bands I had a lot of problems with my voice going out, and my wallet going out, and chronic embarrassment, and drunk poseurs, and poseur soundmen, and driving from state to state on negative-three hours sleep. So far none of those things have come up with the art.Do you consider yourself a political artist?I’m not sure what defines political art. I like a good painting of Ronald Reagan in an outhouse as much as the next guy, but I don’t know that I want my art to read message-heavy. Although I’m going to donate my cut of the Hope Gallery proceeds to charity, I’ll have to pay tax on that money first, and 54% of current federal income taxes go directly to military spending. So I guess all sellable art is political in the sense that it contributes money directly to the military.Do you consider yourself a grown-up?Only when teenage punk rockers give me that sideways squint that says I know nothing of their world and never will. But then I remember that I can go home and watch cartoons all night and they have to angrily do fractions.How did you meet your wife? What’s the coolest thing about being married?I met Tara on tour in 1996. We started dating in ’99 and married in ’02 in Hawaii. Of many advantages to being married, it’s very easy to make all your unmarried couple friends uncomfortable with the unspoken implication that they too should be married. Also Tara’s awesome.What is your job?I make people happy.You’ve been known to recite Patrick Henry’s ‘Give me liberty, or give me death!’ speech. Are you a fan of his? If so, do you feel that his involvement in the adoption of the Bill of Rights made up for his opposition to the Constitution?The thing you need to remember about Patrick Henry is that he just didn’t give a fuck. If you owed him a halfpenny and you didn’t pay, you might as well pack your bags and catch the next boat to Australia because if he found you he would seriously mess your shit up. Do you want to wind up in an eighteenth century critical care unit? Then why didn’t you just pay the man his ha’penny? As far as the constitution goes, he was probably high on barley glue or drunk on grain alcohol that week. And hey, who hasn’t questioned the constitution’s tilt towards federal power and Madisonian Republicanism from time to time?What’s your favorite Van Halen song?Anything where Sammy Hagar not sings.What is the ‘Punishment Bathroom’?Who told you about that?